Coffee comes in all colors, sizes, and tastes. But REAL coffee lovers are the experts, and they have very serious feelings about their favorite cup of joe.
From the amount of sugar or milk added, to the places you get your daily order, if you’re a coffee lover, coffee is a big part of your life. Here are 10 things that all coffee lovers know to be true.
1. Your day starts with your first cup of coffee, not when you wake up.
But usually, between waking up and having coffee is a small window of time. Because you can’t–or won’t–function without coffee. Anyone trying to talk to you before your coffee is risking their own lives.
2. A Starbucks Frappuccino is not coffee, and those who drink them are not coffee lovers.
Starbucks coffee is okay, but a frappuccino is mostly sugar (and some don’t even have any coffee in them). If someone complains all day about how they are craving their coffee and then order this sugar-milk parading as coffee, they are not real coffee lovers.
3. Decaf is also not ~real~ coffee. Sorry, not sorry.
Caffeine is a lifestyle. Decaf is for losers. It’s also pretty unhealthy when it’s not organic because of the process it takes to strip the caffeine out. So there.
4. It’s not eXpresso. Seriously, stop.
Say it with us: espresso. Pronunciation: /eˈspresˌō/. It’s an “s,” no matter what anyone says.
5. When friends travel abroad, you always ask them to bring back coffee.
A good friend will bring you a trinket from wherever they studied abroad. A BEST friend will bring you coffee beans.
6. You can drink a good cup of coffee black.
And those who can’t aren’t loyal and don’t deserve the good coffee. Black coffee is ~everything~ to you. You love the smell and the taste. Not to mention, drinking your coffee black will make everyone else in the coffee shop take you seriously. It brands you as a real coffee lover.
7. Coffee is like 75% of the reason you passed your classes in college.
From early morning classes, to pulling all-nighters, coffee was your personal tutor and your best friend. You couldn’t have made it through every semester without your daily dose, and for that reason, you will always be grateful.
8. There is one place where you like to get your coffee.
Whether it’s your own kitchen (where you grind your own beans TYVM), or the small cafe around the corner, you have your favorite coffee and you are obsessed with it. You try to get your drink there every day, and it is that coffee that you dream about at night.
9. But you have your coffee order at the three next-closest places memorized.
Just in case. When your cafe is closed or you forgot to restock the kitchen, you know the next best coffee order and where to get it. You even know what kind of coffee you’d get at McDonalds, if worst comes to worst.
10. The day your barista knows first knows you by name is the best day ever.
It’s a very serious relationship. Maybe the most serious. Because they are the person who brings you the coffee. And that, my friends, is true love.
[Featured Image Credit: www.livescience.com]
