Henry “Henny” Youngman was born in Liverpool, England in 1906 and died in New York when he was 91 years old.
The columnist, Walter Winchell, dubbed Youngman ‘The King of the One-Liners.’
When you look through our selection of Henny Youngman one-liners, you’ll understand why.
Youngman’s marriage to Sadie Cohen lasted over 60 years – extraordinary in show business terms.
Heny did not start out as a comedian. He actually was a musician and played the violin. He once led a small jazz band and during their performances he often told jokes.
One night, the club’s regular comedian didn’t show up and the owner asked Youngman to fill in. He enjoyed it and thus began his long career as a stand-up comic.
Thereafter his violin was his stage prop, but he held it more often than he played it. He would deliver the jokes in a rapid-fire style, telling dozens in just 10 minutes. His wife was frequently the butt of his jokes, as were Jews.
That’s the short bio, now enjoy these Henny Youngman one-liners
- Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means.
- A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.
- If at first you don’t succeed… so much for skydiving.
- Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
- I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up – they have no holidays.
- I’ve been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she’ll kill me.
- The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
- I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.
- She’s been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.
- A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn’t pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.
- Why don’t Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.
- Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They’re worth it.
- Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
- What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.
These Henny Youngman one-liners come from a different era of comedy.
Do you think you need to be a certain age to appreciate them? Did you ever see or hear Henny?
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