Do you know how to make friends when you suddenly find yourself in a new city?
This situation happens to more people than you might imagine. Maybe you had to re-locate for a job. Perhaps your domestic or personal circumstances changed unexpectedly. Divorce, bereavement or going to university, are all examples of things that happen in life that mean you have to move.
And then you’re faced with the dilemma of how to find and make new friends. Of course, age is also a factor in the quest for new friendship
There was a story in the New York Times by writer Alex Williams entitled: “Friends of a Certain Age: Why Is It Hard to Make Friends Over 30?”
He wrote that there are bigger obstacles to finding lasting friendships as you get older. For example, you change your priorities. When you are In your 20’s, life’s possibilities seem endless. You can easily meet friends at bars and parties. But in your 30’s, you’re concentrated on your career and/or home life. Your life is packed with obligations.
In other words: It’s really, really hard to make new close friends as you approach the midlife mark, particularly if you’re starting over in a new city.
So what is a person supposed to do about it?
Our Life Daily team looked at the the problem and came up with the following suggestions. Take a few moments to browse through them; the solution could be just waiting for you.
1. Keep your old friends close
Even if they are no longer living close to you, try to stay in touch. In these days it’s not that difficult. You just need to make the effort to send that text message or email, or to make the quick phone call.
2. Extend your ideas of who your friends should be
They might not need to be exactly like you in age our outlook. Your older neighbors or colleagues could have had a really interesting life, and could share their stories and experiences if given the chance.
3. Get over your fear of rejection
You can’t expect to succeed with every contact. But persevere and don’t be deterred if people think you’re a bit crazy. You could be pleasantly surprised what a few minutes of talking to a total stranger can lead to.
4. Follow up on every lead
If someone says they know people in your new city that you might like, go for it. Many people have to network to advance their careers. You can also use those skills for making friends.
5. Take a class or join an organization or team
This is a great way to meet new people – and a lot of them together. Whether you decide to take up yoga, aerobics, or finally go the gym, this action will certainly widen your circle of contacts.
6. Look into local social networks
There are many websites that specifically target people who are trying to make new friends. These organizations host group activities in pre-defined specialties, so you can easily choose those you find most appealing.
7. Establish guidelines and don’t waste your time
If you meet someone new, and the first meeting goes well, follow it up with a friendly email. Try to balance your desire for friendship so that you don’t appear to over eager or clingy. And don’t feel that you have to hang out with people you don’t particularly like just because you are desperate for interaction.
8. Keep your expectations in check
Search for friends who meet specific needs. Perhaps someone who you simply eat breakfast with once a month. Maybe a regular coffee date with someone who is a really great conversationalist. You don’t need only one person needs to fill every need.
9. Learn to enjoy your own company
This may seem to be a strange suggestion in article dealing with friendship, but it’s important that you don’t feel that your whole life must revolve around friends. Don’t be afraid to go to a coffee shop or restaurant alone. Striking up conversations with strangers is not nearly so daunting once you’ve done it a few times.
10. Don’t be hard on yourself
Making a new friend, or friends, may take some time. Meanwhile, feel confident in yourself. You know you’re a great person and sooner or later your new friends will know that too.
Feeling better and more confident now that you’ve read our suggestions about how to make friends?
If you have your own ideas on this subject, please let us know by using the comments feed below.
